It's been unusually quiet today. Elliot had his two month pediatrician appointment yesterday. He's 13 lbs., 23.5 inches tall, both in the 95th percentile. He also got 5 vaccine shots including his first DTaP. Since then, he's been sleepy.
With my extra time today, I've cleaned the kitchen, swept the floors, tidied the living area, put away laundry and gotten dinner started. I also ran a couple errands. While I've enjoyed this freeing day, I'm a little nervous that he'll be up all night or early morning.
This week we invested in humidifiers. One for the boys' rooms (a cute frog shape) and one for our room/other rooms. The purchase was initially motivated by Elliot's stuffy nose. But then Rusty felt a humidifier would help him breathe better, thus snore less. The verdict's still out on that one.
The plan is to have Josh home with me two week days starting February. By then I hope Elliot will be on a more predictable sleeping pattern. I know some of Josh's play buddies miss him so I look forward to taking him out to play dates and play places. Most likely he'll be home Mondays and Fridays.
I hear baby noises- I guess Elliot's waking up.
I treated myself to a movie today- my first with Elliot. I saw "There Will Be Blood" at Angelika's Cry Baby Matinee. There's not much redeeming about the film in that the bad guy stays a bad guy to the end. True to the film description, the movie is about "family, greed, religion, and oil, centered around a turn-of-the-century [oil] prospector in the early days of the business." [imdb] The cinematography is striking, the acting is superb, the story is well timed- but what struck me as the film's best attribute was the score. Jonny Greenwood, the musician who scored the film, used music to hold suspense in scenes that conventionally would have had sleepy music or none at all. It was a cross between Kronos and Radio Head and a typical thriller score. The music keep me thinking something exciting or tragic was about to happen, even during mundane moments. Unfortunately, Daniel Day-Lewis has now type-casted himself in my mind as a mean bastard thanks to this film and "Gangs of New York". I can see why critics loved this film.
Funny moment yesterday- We took josh to the play area at the Galleria to run off some energy. He insisted that Rusty needed to chase him. Rusty obliged being careful not to bump into any of the few dozen kids there. At one round behind a giant camel Rusty caught to Josh who was maneuvering past a small crowd. He let out a playful roar to let Josh know he was on his heels. At home, this usually signals to Josh to run faster and results in a squeal. Here, it caused several kids in unison to scream and scatter in all directions. We laughed at this for a good minute then made up a temporary rule: no roaring public around small children.
mmmMMMmmmmm!!! BBBBRRRRRAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
My inner zombie was giggling this morning at the beginning of a brain development class called Parents with Purpose. Instructor Donna Bateman, super-mom of eight, learned everything a parent needs to know about brain development and how to squeeze every bit of opportunity from a normal healthy child and how to improve an injured brain through simple sensory exposure and therapy. It was very enlightening though Elliot distracted me through a decent portion of it. I was fortunate to attend pro bono as a baby gift (Thanks!!) and to bring Elliot with me. I expected to leave half way though but somehow managed to feed, burp, change and nap him while still plugging into what Donna was saying. The only thing I issed was something about autism and a leaking gut?? Anyway, the class right now is a bit of a blur to me because I'm totally exhausted (my cerebral hurts!) but the jist is that the brain is an upside-down funnel where functionality from one region leads to functionality in another which eventually leads to good good decision making, critical thinking, retention of brain cells and, what every parent covets, a well rounded, intelligent healthy child. So what will I get out of this? Nothing if I don't get sleep and then review the notes. Not really. This will help me appreciate what Joshua and Elliot are going through at various stages and to enhance their skills where possible. For example, I can begin now to teach Josh to read by making a few changes to how the print and pictures are laid out. I can applaud his accomplishments in finger painting, counting, singing and story telling. (Well, he's not telling us stories yet so we gotta work on that.) The only thing I would change about the class today would be to have Rusty present with me. At least I have notes and can email Donna with questions later on.
I really need to sleep. Night y'all!
I think I'm just about ready to have a "mom's night out". Rusty went to a UNIX users group meeting tonight. Luckily Joshua was easy this evening (no tantrums or meltdowns) and Elliot wasn't crying the whole time. In fact, I got Elliot to nap after dinner just long enough for me to get Josh clean in the shower and ready for bed. I did get to read a whole book due to Elliot's protest, but it seems Josh is finally asleep- or at least quiet enough to fool me. Now to get Elliot asleep so I can rest too. Hopefully Rusty will be home before I crash.
I manage to make a short video of Elliot for the grandparents using onetruemedia.com
My Montage 1/8/08
Elliot had a rough day. Scratch that, I had a rough day! Elliot cried a lot today. He might have been gassy or something. I have some peace of mind, I spent the majority of his nap times either driving or bracing for the next round. By the evening, his voice was horse and he was exhausted. I finally go him to nurse well. Here's hoping he'll stay asleep for more than three hours. Lord knows I need the rest too.
In the way of nicknames, we're calling him 'Ek'. For Elliot Kai. It rhymes with Beck, Joshua's middle name.
The NICHD has been studying SIDS since 1974 and started its "Back to Sleep" campaign in 1991. Although this has reduced the incidence of SIDS, there is still no confirmed cause of it. The NICHD's speculation, among other organizations and researchers, is that it's caused by one of three things: lack of oxygen, overheating, or a defect in the brain. Since most people can control how their baby sleeps (tummy or back), it makes sense to advocate that change in an effort to reduce infant death. The rationale is- "If a baby is re-breathing exhaled air and not getting enough oxygen, the brain usually triggers the baby to wake up and cry. This action changes the baby's breathing and heart rate, making up for the lack of oxygen. But, a baby with a flaw in the brainstem might lack this method of protection and may be at greater risk for SIDS." [NICHD]
Back to that flawed brainstem. It suggests that babies with no brain defect (and assuming good health) can sleep on their tummy without problem. That these babies will move their heads or wake up when the body reaches a dangerous, low oxygen level. However, because we don't know which baby may or may not have a brain defect, as this idea purports, then ALL babies should be laid on their backs.
Being the rogue mother that I am, I must confess to often laying Elliot on his tummy to sleep. And have been doing so since almost birth. Usually it's while he's sleeping on my chest or stomach at night. But other times, like right now, he's sleeping soundly on his tummy. And he's still alive. I'm making the assumption that he's not defective. After talking to several mothers, both this generation and the previous, who have also laid their babies on the tummy to sleep, I'm less paranoid that I am putting him at serious risk. So we shall see.
Josh has a fascination w/ shadows lately. He finds them no matter how faint and loves to show everyone else. "I find it! A shadow!!" He's not usually afraid of them except for the first time tonight when he discovered a particularly dark shadow upstairs and at the same moment Elliot cried. I think he thought the sound was coming from the shadow itself.
At the pulmonologist they measured Josh to be 37 inches tall and 31 pounds. He's healthy.
I am sooooo tired this evening. I didn't nap when I could have and spent lots of energy managing Josh & Elliot. If you have never met Joshua, then you don't know how much energy he has and takes.
Tomorrow is a busy day for me. I have my last midwife appointment, the 6 week postpartum check up in the morning. Then I'll take Josh (w/ Elliot) to his pulmonologist appointment in the afternoon. I'll run a couple of quick errands in between and try to nap some time.
Saturday should be a warm 76 degrees. I've made plans to stroll Elliot at a nearby park during Josh's nap time. I almost feel guilty enjoying the warm weather while people in Iowa and Illinois have freezing highs and gobs of snow. But I don't. In the summer we'll be broiled while the northern and midwest enjoys a tepid 80 degrees.
I wish I had two hands and more time to devote to my blog. Heck, while I'm wishing...
I'd like a few extra hands I could use in the day then take off at night
I'd like 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night
A clean car would be nice
Weekly pedicures
How about a refrigerator that restocks itself
For right now, more time to do everything is top of the list.
The year in review.
January- nothing to report
February- I become pregnant
March- We start selling and buying a house
April- I lose my consulting job, we pack the old house
May- Move into the new house
June- Josh has an asthma attack, hospitalized for two days
July- Josh has MSRA staph infection, hospitalized two more days
August- We begin paying hospital bills
September- Christmas shopping, paying hospital bills
October- Finish nursery
November- Elliot is born, I get mastitus and blisters
December- Prepare for Santa's visit, finally get financially caught up, grandmother passes away
This year has been eventful with its ups and downs. I'm glad to be in a new home and glad to welcome Elliot to the family, but I say good riddance to hospitals & doctors. I don't have any resolutions other than keeping the boys alive. I just want a fresh start in '08.
After several phone calls this weekend the family decided to forgo a funeral/memorial service for my grandmother. The cremated remains will be moved to Corpus Christi some time this Spring. I'll have my own memorial then.
My dad is finishing a work project (he's a construction foreman) in August then will move back to Texas. He's not sure if he'll move close to Dallas or Corpus. Either way, I'll probably get to see him more often, at least once a year.
I would have posted a Merry Christmas blog yesterday if I hadn't been sick under the covers half the day. I felt feverish, lethargic, achy and- get this- guilty that I wasn't well enough to enjoy Joshua's first Christmas at home. Instead, I curled up to sweat it out while Rusty watched Josh play and took care of Elliot.
Santa brought lots of loot to our house. Joshua's favorite gift: a train set. He also got a pirate ship, a singing potty, Mr. Potato Head, a whale puzzle, a camera, and a play doh activity kit, to name the main stuff. Rather than rapidly rip through packages, he focused on one gift at a time. So it took hours for the last gift to finally get opened.
Rusty thinks he got my cold. I told him to keep his head down and don't breathe on anyone. There's a good chance he'll be working from home tomorrow. I, however, have plans to get out. First I'm off to a playdate then the mall area for exchanges and shopping with gift cards. Yay, shopping! :)
Pet peeve: when magazines start an article then make you turn to the back to finish it.
It doesn't feel like days away from Christmas. It was 74 degrees this afternoon. I went on two walks with Elliot. I'm sure it will feel more spirited this weekend.
I wish I had taken a nap. It's 7pm and I feel exhausted! Only 4 more hours to bedtime. :-(
I can't imagine TV life without TiVo*. Esp for 4am feedings & fussiness.
We don't have that per se, but recorded shows from our satellite provider.
Elliot's pediatrician visit today confirmed he has colic. He's healthy otherwise weighing in at 11.5 pounds and 22 inches tall. He has a bit of yeast infection in the groin which we'll put cream on to treat. No vaccine this visit- yay!
The mall trip wasn't all that bad but I don't want to it again any time soon. Breastfeeding in a Starbucks w/ Josh who cannot sit still nor resist wandering around, is not to be desired.
Oh wait, there was one incident. Josh walked away from me while I was distracted putting Elliot into the sling. This was while we were standing in line to see the train display with 50 other families. I looked around for him, got a slight panicky urgency to my search then luckily someone spotted him. I threatened to buckle him in the stroller ("no want it") and threatened to put him Daddy time-out ("no want it") but ultimately all he got was a very stern scolding. He knew he was in trouble and wasn't allowed more than two steps from from my side the rest of the time.
The Sip 'n See was successful. A handful of people showed up, first from Rusty's office then from church and a few extras in between. Elliot was on his best behavior- as was Josh- saving all the drama for the evening.
Our evenings are not calm. Elliot begins his cry-fest around 8-9pm. Josh resists his bedtime routine which starts around 7pm. When Elliot cries at night, we have to soothe him in the downstairs bathroom farthest from Josh's room otherwise the sound travels upstairs right to Josh's door. After Josh is asleep Elliot is usually awake fussing off and on for about 2-3 hours. Like now. As soon as he's out, I'll go to sleep too. (Middle of the night feedings are going smoother- but it still takes at least a full hour to go back to sleep: diaper change, nurse, burp, soothe, sleep, repeat in 2-3 hours.)
We're giving serious thought to Joshua as being ADHD. I'm going to inquire about him to the pediatrician this week.
Why do strangers feel compelled to compliment a mom on weight loss after she's had a baby? At no other time is it acceptable to broach the topic. A man at the mail office today said I looked like I lost all the weight. I kindly thanked him for the compliment but it bothered me. How does he know how much weight I gained? And what if weight gaining/losing was an issue and he sort of rubbed in the point? In truth, I've lost about 10 pounds but only people who know me well would really be able to notice. I know he means well. A better compliment could be "if I hadn't seen a baby I would have never believed you just had one" or "you don't look exhausted, he must be a good sleeper".
Tomorrow is a first for me. While Rusty does his last minute shopping in the morning, I've agreed to take the boys to a mall for a few hours. God help me- I'm fearing the worst. Here's what could go wrong:
- I have to breastfeed in a bathroom while preventing Josh from touching anything
- Both boys have a meltdown at the same time
- I have a meltdown
- Josh throws a tantrum while I'm busy holding or nursing Elliot
- I get both boys home with success but am unable to get Josh to nap
Baby cries put me and everyone else on edge. Although Rusty is fielding this round of crying (we've been trading and this blog has taken over an hour to compose off & on) it's my trn again soon. I hope Elliot goes to bed early-ish tonight. I'll need the rest.
For some reason I decide to count calories today. Not for dieting reasons (heavens no!) but just out of curiosity. I don't think I'm drinking enough fluids and not eating enough food. Today I had:
Item - calories * = approx.
---------------
Pria bar - 170
2 Owens sausage biscuits - 360*
glass orange juice - 165
banana - 200*
Slim Fast - 190
ginger cookie w/ frosting - 60*
glass lemonade - 200
tuna casserole - 250
bottle Aquafina wellness water - 10
bowl Bertolli's pasta - 340
glass milk - 240
pear - 86
-----------------
Total - 2271
Ok, I'm not starving myself, but I'm also not eating enough to effectively support breastfeeding. Some days I eat more and some, like today, may not be enough. Not included in my calorie count is nearly 3 pints of water.
I spent my morning at Northpark mall. I generally don't care for that mall but I met up with a friend and had a gift certificate burning a hole in my pocket. So after chatting then feeding Elliot, I bought new shoes from Skechers. They were the most glam and comfort in my price range. They have built in bling!
I've got my yearly bah-humbug feeling. Maybe the Christmas spirit will catch me later but now I'm just not feeling it. First there's the tree. We do plastic which requires assembly and fluffing. Yes, we fluff the branches to help it have a tree-like appearance, not the squished-in-a-box-11-months-of-the-year look. Then there's lights. I tuck the lights back into the branches to conceal the cord while Rusty does this looping up and down technique. Somewhere halfway done we bicker about how the other one isn't doing it right. This year we added a new element of aggravation: Joshua. Lights went on and off, decorations ended up broken, he was getting into things he shouldn't- it was a hassle. In the end, we have our tree, it has lights, it has decorations and I don't feel warmer in the heart for it.
Both children are napping, the windows are open to an autumn breeze, I've cleaned house a little and showered- this is nice. I'm embracing the peace and quiet while I have it. My luck, both will wake up around the same time.
Our first pediatrician visit this afternoon proved our suspicions: Elliot weighs a full pound more than he did at birth. 9 pounds, 6.5 ounces- 21 inches long. He's already graduated into size 1 diapers. He got his first vaccine (Hep B) then we got our flu shots during the visit. We're going to seeking advice from a doctor referral at the Scottish Rite Hospital regarding one set of his webbed toes.
The key to managing a house of children as a team is having a healthy, strong and even fun pre-baby relationship. For us, we had nine years together before taking on the responsibility of parenthood. In that time, we did what other young couples do: clubbing, movies, parties, doing stupid things. These memories give us something to smile about when the weight of a stressful day- or week or month or year- drags on our spirits. More than that, these memories remind us that we had our time. The new chapter on our relationship starts with Joshua and on the next page we introduce Elliot. Over the next 18 years or so we'll be writing the next chapter in our relationship. And as we do, we won't forget the original nine years. To make sure of it, we listed the top 50 pre-baby moments. No, I won't list it all here. But here is a sample I don't mind sharing:
- The scavenger hunt that sent Rusty looking through huge water fountains in downtown
- Sitting through the scariest damn movie ever played at the Magnolia Theater from the AFFD
- Taking kung fu classes together
- Seeing The Cardigans in concert with Matt Musselman
- Seeing Meat Beat Manifesto in concert, then hearing how people got diarrhea from the bass
- Seeing The Polyphonic Spree at the
- Our trip to
- Skydiving- twice
- Shaving Matt Peck's head drunk
- Upon entering our honeymoon suite: “Where’s the bed?”