I borrowed a book from my midwife at the last appointment called Birth Reborn by Dr. Micheal Odent. It centers on a birth clinic in Pithiviers, France. The hospital has a maternity clinic run primarily by midwives and birth attendants who fully support natural labor and birth. My natural birth experience having Josh was wonderful and I got some ideas from the book to do a few things differently this time around:

• At Pithiviers, they give the baby a bath in warm water within shortly after being born. The idea, in addition to cleaning the baby, is to provide stimulation and comfort through warm water, what they have been used to for the last 9 months. With Josh, he was sponge cleaned by the midwife and Rusty in the birth center's bathroom using warm water from the sink. I think a small basin would be easier and more comforting for the newborn.
• As common with most hospitals and even midwives (mine included), the doctor or midwife will often put pressure just above the pubic bone in order to check whether the placenta has detached. I remember this feeling quite uncomfortable. This time, I would prefer to wait for the final contraction when my body is ready to expel it on its own.
• Although I don't want to give birth in the water, I do want to relax in the bath during labor. Last time the water was filled up and was so hot it took several minutes to cool it sufficient to my comfort. This time, I'll make sure the midwife and birth assistant know to keep the water a cool 95-98 degrees.
• Immediately after birth, even before I am seated and ready to receive the newborn, I'll ask that he's placed in a "safety position". This is on the baby's stomach with head turned to the side for only a few seconds- enough time to give a good cry and take some deep breaths. The idea is to let gravity prevent any fluid from traveling into the respiratory tract.

I'll add these to my birth plan once we get to that point after summer.

Seven years! We've been married seven years today. We normally celebrate on the 2nd weekend of July but today Rusty sent me a vase of flowers and a love note. The message was so sweet it actually brought a tears to my eyes. This weekend I'll try to score a movie date with Rusty or at least do something fun together.

Speaking of movies, Elizabeth: The Golden Age is coming out this fall [IMDB]. I gotta gotta GOTTA see this! I hope it comes out in October when I might have a chance to sneak away for a couple hours. I have watched the first Elizabeth probably 20 times. This next installment looks equally beautiful and equally well cast. I love British history, especially around the Elizabethan reign. If you ever need a strong, smart, young woman for inspiration, start there.

Video of DJ JoshJosh

Josh is becoming more and more resistant to going to bed easily. He makes excuses to stay up like a request to drink water, read a book or watch a show. We still sit outside his door at night and for naps to make sure he stays in his bed. After half an hour of thumping his legs, tossing and turning, talking to himself, and running his hand along the bars of the toddler bed, he finally finally falls asleep. Long gone are the days of rocking him to sleep or filling up on milk in a bottle before bedtime.

I'm keeping Josh couped inside these last few days. He stepped in an ant hill Saturday afternoon making his feet swell up and itch like crazy. Unfortunately I didn't know there was such a thing as fire ant sting relief until yesterday. I'm not letting him the backyard until the majority of his bug bites are healed and the ant bed is terminated. Until then, we're running errands, playing at playgrounds, strolling the 'hood and of course living it up inside.

Are prunes a weird thing to crave? I've been snacking on prunes lately. It hasn't effected my output, so far as I notice. Dried fruit is my favorite snack. Especially dried pears and pineapple. Pears don't come easy and only Sun Maid has the right taste for dried pineapple. It's the closest thing to the dried pineapple I subsisted on while in Spain years ago. I probably ate 15 pineapples in Barcelona just snacking on the dried fruit from the neighborhood grocer.

Newby 2 (as we've nicknamed him) is now big enough to make my bladder leak when I sneeze. No matter how much I try, a trickle escapes- enough to require a pantyliner or change of underwear if I'm not prepared. He's also thumping and bumping more. I'm now 22 weeks along, feeling fine, sleeping fine and eating well.

I've been thinking of music to listen to on the day I go into labor. With Josh I had a CD burned of soothing and upbeat tunes such as The Shins, Tori Amos and I can't remember what else. I'm making a list of new tunes for a new CD. Here's my list so far:

1. Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash
2. I'm Comin' Out (I want the world to know) by Jennifer Lopez
3. Baby Blue by Amiliana Torrini (then again, maybe not- it's a depressing song)
4. Alien by Lamb
   
5. It's My Party (and I'll cry if I want to) by Leslie Gore
6. I Got You Babe by Cher
7. Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

If you have ideas to add to the list, fire away! :-)

Things Josh has learned lately:

• three word sentences like "I kicked it" and "I dropped it" and "I throwed it"
• opening doors (until recently the handles were too big)
• growling like a lion, bear, dinosaur or monster during a game of chase
• pulling his step stool out and putting it away again
• putting things away and cleaning
• that trash is "yuck"
• how to say No at every question
• how to cover himself with a blanket
• rolling his tongue
• pushing medicine out with his tongue

That last one is the cause of much anguish in the house right now. It's a daily struggle to get the nasty vile antibiotics in his mouth three times a day often resulting in vicious bickering between Rusty & I until the job is done.

We're home!! Again. Josh's staph infection (MRSA) was abscessed so we had to admit him to the hospital (Medical City of Dallas this time) for treatment. We went in thinking it would be a day-long procedure of pricking the skin, draining out puss, bandaging and sending us home with a prescription. Ah, no. That'd be too easy. His tushy required a surgical incision (two actually) which required them to knock him out with anesthesia for half an hour. Here's an email Rusty sent to his parents:

I left you a voicemail, but Josh had to go to surgery because the
infection would have been too painful to work on with him awake. He's out
and in recovery. The wound has absorbent material in it (I'm told) and 2
drains. They are going to keep him at least 2 days, maybe 3. His white
cell count I am told was at 45000 while a normal count is around 15000, so
he was in really really bad shape.

I'll let you know more when I can. I'm at home picking up stuff now to
spend the night there. ~Rusty

We packed to spend the day in the hospital and were shocked when the doctor told us he would be in the hospital for a few days. Days!? I said to Rusty after he left. We were there starting Sunday morning, Monday, and discharged, surprisingly by Tuesday (today)- though we didn't expect to be out until Wednesday or Thursday.

He's still in the hospital and still getting the vancomycin every 6 hours
(25ml's). The doctor's are talking about taking the rubber holding the
wound open out tomorrow. He's still really really sore though. He favors
that side of his butt and he fell on his butt earlier and was just
screaming. I figure right now that he won't be out until Thursday.

Josh won't let anyone share the bed with him so we are taking turns
spending the night there. I am at home again tonight catching up on
stuff. I'll go by the office for another 2 or 3 hours tomorrow. I'll
spend the night with Josh tomorrow so Sarah can get some sleep. ~Rusty

The lack of sleep he's referring to is from my first night's experience. We gave him Tylenol with 4 mL of codeine to help him sleep and take away the pain. Oh boy. Josh had lucid dreams while sleeping like a baby. He sat up at one point and said "Noddy!" then rolled over and when back to sleep. Other times he said No! mine, and daddy. If you ever wondered what a 2-year-old dreams about, there ya go. In between his sleep talking, the nurses gave him antibiotics by I.V. every 4-6 hours and checked his blood pressure and temperature. The machine they used to administer the antibiotics beeped when the line was occluded, beeped when it was half done, beeped when it had ten minute left and beeped when it was finished. So with a 30 minute I.V. timer, I really didn't sleep much. Twice. And Josh woke up at bloody 6:30am ready to whine that the TV wasn't on and that he wanted milk and needed a new diaper and 'where's daddy'? It took me hours to finally feel fully awake.

But all that's behind us. Now we we're at home and can care for him here. He's taking antibiotics three times a day (and he doesn't like how Cleocin (or Clindamycin) taste so we either have to force it down or sneak it in) and has to sit in warm water three times a day. He's still draining out puss and a little blood from his incisions. It's suppose to continue to ooze out as it heals. We have a check up appointment in two weeks and instructions to seek immediate help if it looks like it's swelling or otherwise getting worse. Diaper changes are painful for him because of the tape used to keep gauze in place under the diaper and because he's just sensitive to that area. Diaper changes are a two-person job right now but may get easier- I hope. It's really only contagious by touching the infecting area and passing it on. Breathing, coughing and licking won't transmit staph (unless it's on your mouth) but if Josh scratches his butt then touches someone, it can pass. Although the doctor didn't specifically say this, we're pretty much staying away from enclosed public places and close proximity to other kids until he's healed. He can't go to school until he's fully healed, which should be 2 weeks out. So for at least 2 weeks, no playdates, mall play areas, pools, or kiddie places (sorry Byron). I figure outdoor play grounds are fair game though, especially if there aren't lots of kids around.

This also sets me back in my ability to work on the side, but that's another blog.

This whole experience has been tiring on us. Mostly on Josh. I had a hard time with the asthma attack because it was more intense involving oxygen tubes, I.V. and a blood oxygen sensor. Somehow the asthma attack registered more as a life dangering threat than a staph infection on the butt. Rusty had a hard time with the second hospitalization because Josh was in physical pain. Although he likely caught his infection while at Presbyterian Hospital of Plano last week, it's still my preferred hospital. It's way, way more kid friendly, parent friendly, cleaner, newer and generally cozier. Rusty and I joked we should start a Zagat list for kid friendly hospitals.


In other news, I recently bought three more maternity shirts. yay! Summer clothes are starting to go on sale so I grabbed a few mediums while they're still on the racks. I'll probably sell them next Spring at a consignment sale and get some of the money back. Baby 2 is bumping and thumping more and more. I've started craving dried fruit (like prunes), citrus juices and tomato sauce. I haven't been very good about eating my veggies so I'm trying a new tactic by buying some carrot chips and a zucchini to sneak into a few meals this week. Oh, and peanut butter. Anything with peanut butter- yum. I find myself picking up the peanut butter jar at least once a day, even if to just smell it and contemplate what I'll snack on. Shakes with peanut butter, chocolate with peanut butter, bananas with peanut butter, bread with peanut butter, Nutella (oh yeah) with peanut butter- it's all good! In fact... I think I'll get me some now and enjoy my being at home finally! :)

Addendum: I read up on MRSA infections...

“Staph infection has long been a concern in hospitals, where there are several patients to a room,” [Mobashery] said. “In the last 10 years, it has also emerged as a concern in prisons and hospitals.” Mobashery considers the community onset of staph infections, outside of institutions, a troubling phenomena. “Staph is very common,” he said. “Twenty-five percent of us have it on our skin or in our body cavities at any time. If you shake hands with eight people, two will have it.” During the 1940s and ‘50s, 90 percent of staph infections could be successfully treated with antibiotics. “Because of increasing antibiotic resistance, that figure is now down to 30 or 40 percent and it continues to decline,” Mobashery said.

From www.nd.edu

Quick update: Josh's fever seems to be the result of a staph infection on his right bottom cheek. I noticed it yesterday when he fell down on it and came in screaming with pain. It was a bright red bump a little hard and warm to the touch. Not knowing what it was, I put on some ointment during diaper changes. But obviously that did nothing. So this morning his bump was bigger and more painful for him so I scheduled him for a visit to the pediatrician's first thing. The doctor took his vitals first: weight 27.6, ears have a little pussiness (minor ear infection), lungs sounded a bit wheezy (continue nebulizer treatment over weekend), and then looked at his butt. She immediately said the puss needed to be pushed out and he wasn't going to like it.

Boy was she right.

We laid him on his tummy- diaper down, butt exposed- then the doctor proceeded to first prick the skin then squeeze the bloody pussy stuff out. Oh man it was awful. On the first good squeeze, some of it shot out getting me on the cheek and arm, the wall, the nurse... Yuck! Meanwhile Josh was crying out for mommy and daddy, even though I was holding down his chest and arms and trying to soothe him. Finally she got the majority out, put on a band-aid and prescribed ointment and recommended a bath with 2 tbsp. of bleach added to the water for the next several days/weeks. If the redness doesn't go away, we're to call her tomorrow and may have to go to the hospital. ugh! I kept thinking, not again! I'm hoping this will get better. We will go back for a check up Monday. Until then, Josh will be taking it easy and lounging with his butt up and diaper loose.

Addendum- I did further research and found this from kidshealth.org:

Without treatment, folliculitis can either heal within 1 week or progress to become boils. With a boil, the staph infection spreads deeper and wider, often affecting the skin's subcutaneous tissue (deeper tissue under the skin) and the oil-producing glands, which are called sebaceous glands. In the first stage, which parents and kids often miss, the area of skin either begins to itch or becomes mildly painful. Next, the skin turns red and begins to swell over the infected area. Finally, the skin above the infection becomes very tender and a whitish "head" may appear. The head may break, and the boil may begin to drain pus, blood, or an amber-colored liquid. Boils can occur anywhere on the skin, especially under the arms or on the groin or buttocks in children.

I think Josh had a bug bite or something that he scratched open making the area susceptible.

The poor little dude has a fever this evening. He woke up from his nap with a temp of 102.6. I gave him some Tylenol and he just lounged on my lap going in and out of sleep until I finally laid him in his bed at 6:45.

I'm working on making a sign or button to wear around when I go out. I'm tired of the same questions (and really tired of the dumb ones, but more on that later) so I figure I'llknock out the three most common questions with one visual: a stork picture with "November" along the bottom, in blue and a "#2" at the top somewhere. I we settle on a name before he's born (it's unlikely knowing us), then I'll add that too. That gets rid of when are you due, do you know what it is, and is this your first??? Then there's the dumb questions that I get, like is the father excited and are you feeling sick? Well, maybe the second question isn't so dumb since many women feel sick all the way through their pregnancies. I don't. The first question- why do people ask this? What answer are they expecting? I should say something like Oh he doesn't know, but my husband is very excited! Of course, that might get me trouble.

We spent the last couple of days/nights in the hospital with Josh. A simple chest cold turned into an asthma-like disaster. Here's the email I sent to most friends and some family:

As some of you know, Joshua has the onset of asthma, although the doctors don't officially diagnose it as such at this age. A minor cold on Friday put mucus in his lungs causing him to wheeze and be short of breath. Rusty gave him breathing treatments at home but by Sunday morning he was still working real hard to breathe and wasn't doing well at all. We took him to the ER hoping he'd get a few good breathing treatments and be sent home by dinner. But his lungs didn't respond to anything. So they kept him (and us) overnight in the hospital for further treatments and observation. Today he is doing better but still isn't good enough to go home. We'll be in the hospital again tonight and hopefully going home tomorrow.

During his stay, Josh was hooked up to an I.V., an oxygen tube under his nose and a blood oxygen sensor on his big toe. The blood oxygen sensor told us how well his lungs were taking in air and what his heart rate was like. He was admitted in the ER with a blood oxygen level of about 88, though we saw it dip in the ER to a low as 82. He needed to be around 95 or higher to be considered in the clear. With all this equipment, he was severely restricted in movement and always getting tangled up. Rusty and I took turns sleeping next to him in the hospital bed those two nights. Every 2-3 hours a nurse would come in and we'd give him a breathing treatment of albuterol, even at night. Every 4-6 hours he got a steroid (luckily it was given through the IV instead of a shot). By Monday afternoon, Josh was able to get off of the oxygen and that night get rid of the IV.

We were finally able to come home late this morning around 11am. The doctor was on the fence with his health during his last visit to the room but since we're already well accustom to giving him breathing treatments and medicines, he felt we could give good home care. We have a cocktail of medicines to administer this week: Xopenex with a nebulizer every 3-4 hours until his wheezing stops, Advair and Flovent inhalers through an air chamber, prednisolon syrup twice daily for four days, and dehistine syrup twice daily. I'm to listen to his chest with our stethoscope periodically and make sure he takes it easy for a few days. I'll take Josh to see his pulmonologist on Monday for a check up. Needless to say, he's not going to day school this week and I'm not working much.

The hardest part for Josh was not being able to walk around and play like he wanted to. The hardest part for me was watching my baby feel so miserable and not being able to make him feel better. We're all tired today and going to bed early. Rusty and I both caught Josh's cold (though it's minor for me) so we'll be chillin' at home tomorrow. To help the little feel better, I blew up a bunch of balloons this afternoon with the helium tank left over from his birthday party and tied long strings to the end so he could grab them when they floated up to the ceiling.

I hope Josh outgrows this and pray that we don't go to the hospital like this for every other cold his gets. What some kids get as low-key sniffles seems to be potentially life-threatening for Josh. Well, maybe that's a bit dramatic to say, but he definitely has more complications than most. I am so grateful for the medical help we got. If this had happened a hundred years ago we might very well have lost Josh by now. Medicine isn't a miracle but it is so great.

Thanks for Dorothy, Melissa, Adam & Nolan for the hospital visit on Monday night. They brought us books and toys for Josh to play with in bed. Also, thanks to those of you who sent us your well wishes.

We're having another boy! yay! The ultrasound technician estimates the due date to be November 2nd, but the calendar and midwife both think it's November 7th, and I'm putting my bet to be either early (fingers crossed for October 31st) or later such as the 14th. I suppose we'll find out soon enough.

I am working on another web design project, though it's a short and relatively easy one. It will keep me occupied for a couple more weeks and pays a thousand bucks. Then I need to find something else to do. Either pick up another consulting project or find part-time employment or committ myself to homely projects, like making curtains, fixing up the play set and early Christmas shopping.

Yes, early Christmas shopping. I don't want to deal with Christmas this year if I have a newborn. I plan to do shopping early and get cards signed and addressed as soon as they go on sale in the stores (late September, early October?). I expect to be sleep deprived, busy and slow moving in December. If I get things prepped early, the idea is to just drop everything in the mail at the right time and be done.

Which brings me back to money. Money to pay for all this in advance. We aren't broke but we didn't exactly budget for Christmas shopping plus baby stuff plus a higher mortgage to all be at roughly the same time of the year. It will be tight for a little bit, but that's how it goes. At least these expense will be spread over the course of several months instead of one big credit card statement in January, like most years. Rusty might be getting a promotion/pay bump later this year but we can't count that until it happens.

We installed the first part of the Elfa shelves in the garage this evening. As a way to keep Josh distracted from playing in the garage while we worked, we got out the water hose for him to play with. I just couldn't resist snapping a few shots of our bare bottomed babe playing in the water!

Today is Father's Day! We got gifts for our dads and I got a gift for Rusty on behalf of Josh. I found a men's maroon house robe and monogrammed "Daddy" in gold stitching. Well, I didn't do it, L.L. Bean did! It's a large, so I'm worried it might not fit well. Rusty's usually a medium on most clothes. But his first treat of the day is to sleep in and wake up with fresh coffee and a clean kitchen/living room. Which I'll be working on shortly.

My son's waist is a mystery. He's 2 years old and I can't seem to find shorts small enough to fit him. 2T and 24 month is too wide- they fall off within a few steps of walking. 18 month size is too big too! I got four pairs of 18 month shorts from Target yesterday and they too are falling past his butt. Am I to resort to suspenders??

Baby #2 is kicking and thumping more now, though I tend to feel most movement at night or when laying down. I've gained about 11 pounds so far, though the baby weighs only about 7 ounces. My appetite has increased and I'm making healthy choices where I can, like a side salad with a sandwich. Fruit as a snack instead of cookies. Whole grains over white. Juice and milk over soda. Although I still have the occasional can of soda (with ice) when the urge gets me. Time seems to be flying by this time around. I realized the other day that I am almost half way done! I only have about 4 months left! :-/

I'm reading Rant by Chuck Palahniuk. It's another effed up story that's surely fun to read. It was sent to us by Raymond as a housewarming gift (thanks!) and I'm just now getting to it. I have 3 magazines I haven't read yet too. I think I'll save those for later though when I'm either disparately out of reading material or when the new baby comes and I find myself reading while breastfeeding.

With Josh, we propped up a music stand by the rocking chair so I was able to read at night during breast feedings. It was something to do while I waited for Josh to finish and it kept me from falling asleep. Although we don't have a rocking chair anymore.

Father's Day is this weekend. I had a great idea for my dad's gift/card but I'm running into technical difficulties. If I can get it to work then I'm done- yay!- on time. If not, I'll have to resort to Plan B. Not sure what Plan B is yet but it probably involves shopping for something. I got Rusty something on behalf of Josh. I'm worried it might be too big (in fact, I'm almost certain of it), but oh well.

I'm tired and it's not even 10pm. peace out.

Went to a dentist appointment this afternoon. The lady who cleaned my teeth said I had a little bleeding on one side, but otherwise everything looked great. I'm thinking, if you'd not poke me with a sharp metal object, there would be no bleeding at all!

No sooner did I tell a friend I wasn't feeling movement yet that I begin to feel some bumping in the belly. It seems most noticeable when I'm laying down, like in the dentist office. It's faint and infrequent at this point, but reassuring that the lil' dude or dudette is alive and well.

Just over two years ago Emily assisted us during Josh's birth. Now that she is in the navy we felt we needed to find someone else to help out on that big day. We made a list of people we knew and trusted then evaluated our choices. Some friends are naturally hard to get a hold of on any given day, others live a bit too far away, and other friends didn't have that totally cozy feel. I mean, let's face it, giving birth in front of others is an intimate affair. We settled on Melissa Anderly to help us. We asked her this afternoon if she would be interested and she about jumped out of her seat! Rusty and I breathed a sigh of relief when she enthusiastically accepted. This meant we didn't have to settle for a less than ideal assistant. It helps that she has had a natural birth herself and went through the Bradley Method child birth classes too. (This was her 5 months after Josh was born and just weeks before her son Nolan was born.)

Josh got a haircut today. He looks older somehow- and way cute!

Vincent had his birthday party this afternoon. Josh had a blast! They had a bounce house in the backyard, lots of backyard toys, kids, cake- it was all good. He got a lot of sun and now he's tired enough that I think we can get him to bed perhaps 30 minutes early. I hope we can because I'm pooped and need an early night myself.

I have a cold today; Josh has a cold and a black eye. Together we're miserable company. :-(

Success! We had our housewarming party last night with great success. We estimate about 20+ people came over the course of five hours. Everyone had a good time (except Josh, but more on that in a bit) and enjoyed the excuse to see other people and get out. Despite being rained on earlier that day, the grounds weren't too bad and mosquitoes hadn't come out to full force, or not to my knowledge. I struck a deal with Rusty to hold the white wines until December so that I could enjoy them.

Joshua had his 2nd birthday party in the afternoon before the housewarming. He LOVED that his friends came over to play! He was dancing and running around and playing with everyone and everything. He enjoyed his homemade birthday cake I made, drank lots of juice & milk, played with his buddies in the backyard, and had fun opening his gifts. So far he really likes his medical kit and play tunnel, although he's played with everything at some point by now. He was really haven't an all around great time until...

...he got bumped by a girl on the swings which threw him to the ground and knocked his head against the pole of the playset. He got a huge bump/bruise to the right of his right eye. He hurt for a while and I thought he was going to go to sleep since it was already late, but he stayed up until almost the bitter end. Odd thing about the incident is that afterwards for the rest of the night, he was real clingy and wanted to know where mommy & daddy were all the time. If either of us was out of sight or earshot for even a moment he was distressed. I'm thinking he got scared after the accident and wanted the assurance that we were there to protect him and comfort him. Today he seems fine though still a bit more clingy than usual.

It's shaping up to be a gorgeous day so I'll probably take Josh to the community pool to play for a bit after his nap. He got a few pool toys and a new towel from a neighbor friend for his birthday that we need to make use of.

The amount of rain this spring is putting a damper on my birthday plans for Josh's party this weekend. My original plan was to have the playset outside sanded down and cleaned up for Josh and his friends to play on. But since it's rained every single day since we got here (and days before), I can't do any work on it. I can't even put sand on the bottom for a sand box, which is my gift to him. Soooo, I think instead I'll migrate the party to the neighborhood swimming pool- assuming weather cooperates.

I'm starting to gain weight. I started out at 122 lbs. as my morning weight. Now I'm at about 130 lbs. in the morning. I'm just barely beginning to feel movement, especially when I lay down at rest. I've been having leg cramps at night, usually 3-5 times, so I've started taking magnesium and calcium supplements. My appetite has increased along with my waist. I think I'm at the best part of a pregnancy. I have energy and I'm past the sickness.

Rain rain rain. Everyday there's rain. I'm waiting for weather to clear so I can stroll Joshua around the neighborhood and let him play outside.

We're still unpacking. We also found a few things to upgrade on the house, like adding light dimmers and a new shower head in our bathroom. Lots to do still.

Whew! Moving is hard work. We're 98% moved. Dorothy helped me clean up the other house this morning and now Rusty and his dad are moving the last of the left over stuff- garage items and cleaning supplies mostly. We're all tired and the new house is so new to me it doesn't yet feel like home. Perhaps when we are more unpacked and a routine sets in, it will.

In no particular order...

Vacations are never long enough. We left Vancouver early Sunday morning even though we only had about 3 hours of sleep. The flight was uneventful but the security check was brutal. We got searched twice and I ended up losing my Swiss Army card. You'll notice I left US borders with it but got stopped by the Canadians. It tells me the US security is still lacking despite all the rules and waiting.

Matt & Oana's wedding was- interesting. They had crowns, four foot long candles, played ring around the alter, the paparazzi showed up from within those attending, and the service went in and out of Romanian and English. There was never a dull moment. According to the priest, Oana is supposed to have lots of babies now. We didn’t have any magicians or performing bears or jugglers, but it was entertaining enough.

A small group of us made our way by foot and train from the church to downtown Vancouver. The idea was to take a train then hop on a bus to get to the pier. The bus never showed up. After we waited like 30 minutes, we gave up and hailed two cabs. A round of drinks then we boarded the cruise ship. I must say, there is nothing quite as memorable as a reception on a cruise ship. We circled the bay, went around what I think was Stanley Park, twice. There was dancing, cake, drinking, stories, just an all around great time! And no one was able to sneak away early.

After the reception most of us (Rob, Weyandt, Peck, Steve Bergman, Lee & Barb, Kelley, Inger, Rusty & I and Spencer & Laura- Matt's brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law) hung out at the bar at the Pan Pacific Hotel. Well, we didn't go straight there. We got directions from Matt as he was leaving with Oana which got us miserably lost. We walked in circles, whined, bitched about the cold until Lee, Barb & Weyandt found was wandering the streets looking for some place called The Mill- which turned out to closed. The stupid things we do for a drink! By the time we FINALLY got to the bar, we were beyond exhausted.

Highlights from the trip:
* Sleeping through the night, minus the few times I woke up from leg cramps
* Eating tasty, cheap sushi with two Matts, Steve and Rusty for lunch on Thursday
* Hearing Weyandt belt out "I'm so ronery" after hearing Rusty was alone looking for everyone
* Being harassed by the waitress at the Elbow Room
* Translating the sung response in the wedding ceremony from "ameen" to "rock on"
* Cajoling with friends at every opportunity
* Having the freedom to get around on my own schedule and not my son's :-)

Don't get me wrong- I was very happy to see Josh again Sunday afternoon. But I didn't worry about him for a minute and enjoyed the break like it was the last. I believe it made me a better mom today. I was eager to play with him and patient when he was crabby.

Lastly, there are pictures being thrown up on Flickr. Some are ones I took, some not. I have more to upload but not tonight.

Vancouver is cool. Literally. Our cozy room doesn't have an A/C vent so we popped open the window last night which chilled us nicely. We're staying in an older hotel, a bed and breakfast really, that's in an older building. It's sort of 30's style. It's not swank like the hotels some of our friends are staying in, like the Sutton Place Hotel and Pan Pacific, but we're not bleeding our wallets and have everything we need.

To our surprise, three friends were on the same flight as us yesterday: Rob, Matt Peck & Steve Bergman. Rob is awesome. After we landed in BC we stood around wondering how to get to our hotels (share a taxi, shuttle?) then Rob says "Let's take a limo". It made sense. The cost split between us was reasonable and we have a direct drive to where we needed to go (unlike a shuttle with other people). We all checked in to our rooms then headed out for a late dinner near Peck & Bergan's hotel. I couldn't have asked for a better start to a vacation.

Today we're helping Matt drop off gifts around town, trying on Rusty's tux and eventually ending up at a pub near the waterfront. Tomorrow Rusty's getting his haircut and I think I'll take that time to get a pedicure or some sort of pampering. Saturday I want my hair done up nicely for the wedding. The shirt I picked out to wear has beads so my hair must be up or it will get tangled in it.

I miss Josh only a little at this point. I have to admit, sleeping 7 hours through the night felt damn good! :) And being able to hop around the corner to grab a toiletries without the hassle of strollering, diapering, fussing, and parenting was great. I miss the little guy but I am enjoying this trip as myself, the pre-mom Sarah with no responsibilities but her own. And Newby 2.

It's a neat feeling to wake up in one country then go to sleep in another. (I say that like it's common for me!) We leave for Vancouver, BC this afternoon. We're 90% packed, the house is mostly clean, the child is at school with a duffel bag packed for his weekend with the grandparents, and travel plans are all confirmed. For once, I get to relax before traveling instead of scrambling to do everything at the last minute. Ask Rusty- he'll tell you I'm usually a total basket-case before trips. Not this time!!

I'm chowing down on a cup of ice-cream. Monday was rough for me. I'm not sure if I had a 24 hour stomach virus or ate something bad but most of Monday and half of yesterday I couldn't keep anything down, felt nauseous, I was weak and tired. Finally yesterday around 4:30p hunger overcame my unsettled stomach so I scarfed down fried chicken for dinner. I was worried the grease might set bad but I had a craving for fried chicken that I just could not ignore. Yum! I felt better and now I'm on a mission to make up the calories I didn't eat Monday and Tuesday. I'll need to eat well on vacation to compensate for all the walking and activity I expect to do.

Josh went back to the pediatric pulmonologist yesterday. He's better but still needs inhalers twice a day. The goal is to have him sleeping better at night (not waking up coughing) and to reduce the coughing at play and when drinking. Once his coughing and breathing is under control we can back off of the inhalers and use them on an as needed basis. I truly hope he outgrows this. Time will tell.

Matt's wedding is in one week. I am beyond excited about going to Vancouver, BC to see him get married and to have a little fun. And sleep all the way through the night. And not change diapers for a few days. And not cook or clean. And be around friends I don't see enough of these days. I am STOKED! I need to invest a few hours in prepping Anne & Russ for taking Josh during that weekend. They need to know his eating preferences (it's unpredictable), his wake/sleep routine, what works, what doesn't, etc. I'll have a bag packed with instructions by Wednesday when Josh goes to school.

I got my mom the coolest Mother's Day gift my mom could ever imagine. I got her a lawnmower! But wait- it was painted on top as a lady bug using black spray paint, coils for antennas and jeweled eyes. On the bottom I painted flowers and grass. Better yet- it's an electric start and self-propelled mower. I got to thinking about my mom's health (back problems, arthritis, etc.) and decided the extra bucks in an electric start was the way to go. Now she doesn't have to wait for the neighborhood kid to come by and she can get rid of her broken mower. She LOVED her gift.

The same day UPS delivered my mom's mower, I was getting my hair touched up. I wanted to get the roots redone on the blue streak of hair. I decided to try a place in the mall from a friend's recommendation. The color came out so indigo-blue it looked black that first day. I washed it twice that night and about twice each day since. It's still waaaaaay too dark blue. And the blue stuff stained my scalp in front and turns my fingers blue when I wash it. It's just an awful product they used, which was Paul Mitchell's Ink Works. I complained to the salon and they told me to wait a week before they would work on fixing it swearing to me it would "wash out to a brilliant blue" in a week. I told the lady a week was too long. I also talked to my normal salon guy, Richard Flores, who agreed to see me on Sunday to help fix the problem. He looked at it the next day and agreed it looked all wrong. From now on, no more surprises. I'll go to Richard instead of chancing another screw up.

My midwife appointment on Friday went well despite having Josh with me. I know this sounds tacky but the kid is VERY active! I was worried I wouldn't be able to relax or focus on the appointment with him getting into everything. And he did get into everything. But Dinah was so good with him and patient with him despite his destructive 2-year old self. We heard the heartbeat loud and clear this time. Everything is normal and healthy so far. Just the way I like it!


Here's the last of the lay-off saga. I sent Dan my hours and activities for my last week of work and requested full payment within 30 days. His response:

Hi Sarah,

This looks fine. There are a couple of requests or considerations I would like to ask of you though:

Could you please reduce several of the hours for the time spent on addressing the errors in punctuation, spelling and such? It seems a bit much for us to proof the work and have to pay for it also.

As well, could I also ask that I spread the total due to you over the next two months? I will be able to give you half at the end of this month and the remainder at the end of June if that is ok?

We loved the work you did and appreciate your help. I am not easy to work for on these things and you did wonderfully - but I hope I did not raise your stress level too high!

Thanks again,

To which I replied:

Dan,

I will not change the hours for this last week. I did spend more time proofing than what I recorded in the hours that you are not being billed for catching several errors beyond the few items that Jeremy communicated to me. Proofing is part of the process of building a website. I will accept half of the wages due at the end of May and the remainder at the end of June if this is easier for you.

You did not raise my stress level working with you until Monday, April 30th when you essentially stabbed me in the front. Rather than trying to work through our problem as I would expect from a manager, you opted to cease our working relationship altogether. I did not have the chance to complete all of the objectives we both wanted to accomplish from the start despite the nearly "year's worth of work to be done", as you put it in January. I feel you did not budget properly when you hired me either in your expectations of how much I was to be paid per hour nor in the amount of time we estimated I would work (as laid out in an email to you on Jan. 30th), resulting in delayed payment of my wages and a premature end to working with you. I have learned several lessons from this encounter that I never wish to repeat. I do not feel on good terms with you and wish to simply be paid and move on with my time and energy.

To which he replied:

Sarah,

Your feedback is good and important to hear. You are right in that I did not budget mainly because the revenue side is difficult to project and we hit several obstacles that decreased our expected revenue greatly.

In part, I don't think I asked or conveyed the the right amount of information to you. That probably added to the issue. You feeling 'stabbed' is not something I desired to occur, but I did want you to know of my concerns with where things were. Estimates were estimates and that is why they are called such - that I understand. Frankly, we needed to end quickly so I did not keep the meter running with you. It wasn't a matter of budgeting, but of revenue short fall. I couldn't guide you and produce at the same time - as well as train Jeremy. So my efforts were split too thin.

So to put it out on the table so you get it from my standpoint, I have yet to be PROFITABLE in the last 4 months. So your time was important to us, but I needed to be able to pay for it too.

Hope that makes sense and gives you an idea of why things are what they are.

I didn't reply to this last email despite a strong urge to do so. Nothing kind or productive would have come of it. What ticks me off is that rather than own up to not having enough funds to pay for me, he preferred to blame me for something as a reason to get me off his payroll. He questioned my integrity in front of another worker instead of being up front and honest. It was fun while it lasted but I'm glad to be moving on now knowing his true colors.

Lessons I've learned- or relearned- after a week of reflection as a former consultant:

** Put it in writing. Everything. Emails count as "in writing" in this digital age.
** Clearly communicate your overall objectives (the forest) as well as the progress of projects (the trees) periodically. I communicated my overall objectives in writing in the beginning one time. I should have reiterate those objectives every so often.
** Don't work with friends or associates unless you are comfortable with the possibility of losing that relationship. Shit happens in business and when feelings get hurt, toes get stepped on and people get personal, there's always a chance of burning a bridge or tarnishing a relationship.
** Demand pay on a regular basis, even if it's inconvenient to the employer. It's not your problem they don't have the cash to pay you, but it will be your problem when they don't pay you.
** Never call a meeting unless you have information on your side and never ask a question you don't have the answer for. I learned this from lawyers and it's good business sense.
** Work loudly. If you're at home, off-site or buried in a cube farm, communicate frequently so that people (managers, co-workers) see you're busy.

Rusty and I are talking about drumming up business from other clients of his now that we have a completed website we're proud to show off. While I regret the circumstances of this last job, I am proud of the results of my work.