Today was a very active day for Josh. We went to Melissa’s baby shower from 3pm until around 7pm. For him, that’s a long time. She got showered with gifts and well wishes from friends and family. I contributed three things for the mom-to-be (Boppy, Lansinoh, nursing pads) and three things for the baby-to-be (diapers, pacifiers, swaddle blanket). And two books, per the quirky request of the sister who sponsored the shower. Rusty joined for a little over an hour then ran off to run sound at church. Josh had a great time seeing people and playing on people’s laps. I managed to get him to sleep for twenty minutes during the gift opening. Whenever he sleeps at someone else’s house with lots of people around, I get paranoid about people waking him up. That didn’t happen but I kept my eye on the door and watched people walking through the hallway just in case.

Melissa is due in a month. I remember my last month well. I was leaving work. I got sick two weeks before his due date. I couldn’t fit into anything but three outfits and barely three shoes. I was hungry a lot. I tried various tactics to encourage a timely delivery such as acupuncture, evening primrose, nipple stimulation, sex, walking, making plans to do things. None of the above worked except making plans for lunch. I was never really uncomfortable either. Rather, I anticipated the arrival of the baby and got impatient waiting. He was getting heavy and had dropped well before I went into labor. I also remember savoring those days knowing that once I went into labor and delivered him, that my life would change forever and I would assume a new, busy role as a mom. My comment inside Melissa’s card read: Enjoy the moments. I wish I could repeat Josh’s first week again (without the breastfeeding problems). He was so tiny and easy to care for at that time. I used to go to yoga classes back when I was pregnant. The yoga instructor struck a cord with me one day when she said children begin their separation from us (the moms) starting with birth. It’s so true. First there’s the labor when the baby comes out. Then we cut the cord and we no longer supply blood, oxygen and nutrients to him. The mother carries the baby around for months until he learns to crawl. Baby starts to crawl away exploring the world. Then they start walking and running. Years later, maybe in junior high the child exercises independence and freedom. That continues in various forms until adulthood, when they move out of our home. It’s as if our babies are slowly pulled away as they grow up.

Sunday, October 09, 2005 | |

 

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