There's an unspoken hierarchy of friendship. It's a cold unspoken rule of social etiquette that once you tun your back on your girlfriend, partner, or spouse you can no longer rely on that person's friends for support in the same way you once did. Here's how it works: you make a friend who introduces you to their girlfriend, partner, or spouse. Your friend has the higher hierarchy over whomever they introduced to you. If your friend breaks up with their girlfriend, partner, or spouse, your loyalty goes to your friend, not to who they broke up with. (With rare exceptions.) Here's an example: a friend of more than ten years is facing the end of his marriage to someone I've also known for the same amount of time. He has a long history with Rusty and introduced me to her when they first met. My loyalty goes to the original friend, not his soon-to-be ex-wife. It would be imprudent to call her and maintain that friendship.

Not that I would want to anyway.



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