Daddy Drama Strikes Again!

My dad's current wife, Nel, called me this evening for emotional support. She said the bar called her this afternoon after my dad passed out on the concrete outside of the bar he was drinking at. The bartender freaked out then called Nel using his cell phone. Nel went to the bar and told the bartender to call an ambulance. He's in detox now and the staff hasn't told her how long he'll be there or how he's doing yet. She was crying when I spoke to her. She's never had to deal with this before and I think it scared her. I have seen my dad passed out in public before so that doesn't scare me. In fact, very little about his excessive drinking would surprise me or scare me. What does surprise me is how long his liver has lasted! Anyway, she needed someone to commiserate with, someone who's familiar with what my dad is doing to himself. She was hoping he would choose her over the booze and bless her, she's tried nearly every trick to get him to sober up a little and connect with her outside of his drinking. I told her to think of his alcoholism like a heroin addiction, that he's not going to wake up one day and just quit. That he will need professional help and until then he will always always choose the booze. He has said mean things to her (the officer asked why does he drink this much and he told him "you'd drink too if you were married to her") and I tell her he's not speaking with a clear mind. In less than 24 hours he'll regret what he's said and what he's done. Then he'll go do it again because he's addicted to how alcohol makes him feel. Nel seemed to feel a little more grounded and a little more sure of herself as our call wrapped up. She repeated that she wasn't going to give up- that she loves him very much and she's going to make this work. But she also feels miserable. She gets verbal abuse when he's drunk, she's stressed all the time and she feels lost about how to deal with his shenanigans. I keep a calm voice and tell her she's strong and patient and that only a strong person can handle my dad and that she's doing all the right things and that my dad is out of control and needs someone like her who cares to be around.

But personally I'm still amazed that she has lasted this long. I'm glad she has. I'm also very glad that my dad ended up not moving here to the Dallas area. The burden of caring for his drunken ass would fall on my shoulders and I'm petty sure I would be less tolerant and less forgiving than Nel has been.



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