It seems that the days I go to counseling are the days I'm more tired at the end of the day. Today wasn't as emotionally charged as some other meetings have been, but I did get sad a couple times thinking about my dad's death and that I'll miss him. I'm miss his company and being able to call him and share snippets of my life with him. We didn't have a close relationship but I'll miss him anyway. I'm more at peace now with some of the stress and anger I felt before and after his death. I don't regret any of my actions, I won't play the "should've could've" game, I'm not going to simmer on negative thoughts. He had a better parental relationship with me than he had with his own parents, despite his own shortcomings. Now that I see him within this context, I understand him a little better and why he did some things the way he did.

I'm much lighter without this weight. Even Rusty noticed that lately I'm a little peppier than I had been.

I'll end on that note, I'm really tired. Besides, someone has to keep on ear on Josh who is still awake!




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