I got poked in the eye yesterday by Josh’s tiny finger. He was pointing to my face just as I lifted my head to look at him. I think I was cleaning up food off the floor in front of his seat in the kitchen. It was an excellent opportunity for me to teach Josh the words ‘ouch!’ and ‘oww’ and ‘you hurt mommy’s eye’. I swear I didn’t swear which is impressive for my character. As expected my vision went blurry for a bit. I didn’t think much of it until this morning when I noticed my vision in that eye was still off. I went to the optometrist this afternoon, got antibiotics to prevent infection, more eye drops, and scheduled to go back Wednesday for a second look. The doctor could see the tiny scratch but didn’t know why that would cause my vision to be so blurry. To give perspective, I wet from 20/20 to about 20/80 in my left eye. In the light, things have a shadow and extra lines to the left of images.

Rusty & I sneaked away to see Casino Royale yesterday while his mom babysat. She didn’t do much though because Josh slept nearly the whole time. We both really enjoyed the show. I could look at Daniel Craig (the new James Bond) all day long! What a hunk. He plays sexy-rugged really well. Judi Dench is still M. I think she must be at least 92 years old. We also want to see The Fountain and Borat. Maybe later this week.

I nagged Rusty this weekend that he was barely home. This wasn’t fair of me to do this because, in his defense, he was home with a minor cold on Saturday. I avoided him for the most part on Saturday to keep clear of germs. He felt fine by Sunday but then had to work in the morning and after the movie. Watching a movie, by the way, does not count as quality time because you are engrossed in the show, not in the person sitting next to you. By dinner on Sunday I felt like I had seen him maybe 3 hours out of the whole weekend (an exaggeration) and needed him to plug in at home. I didn’t feel like eating dinner because I was so bummed out. “If you were saving lives or being someone’s hero I could understand the long hours. But it’s 6pm on a Sunday and you’re working for a server. It’s just a server. I understand there are things that need to work before Monday morning, but come on- it’s Sunday and you’re working half the day.” He felt bad that I was frustrated. We went to a bookstore that evening (I got “The Last Van Gogh”) and afterwards he encouraged me to get some sushi for dinner. I realized the sushi was his version of a bouquet of flowers as a way to smooth things over. To be perfectly honest, I love the sushi (much tastier than flowers) but I’d rather have more quality time with him.

My mom calls me this weekend to say she’s in the hospital. She woke up on Friday to a tightness in her chest. She called an ambulance to take her to the hospital. She had a “tiny little” heart attack. Apparently her cholesterol is sky high (over 300) and blood pressure beyond severe hypertension (180/120). She’s still in the hospital under doctor supervision until she’s well enough. Her diet is probably to blame. She lives a busy work life on-the-go with little time (sometimes money) for a healthy rounded meal. She was having severe back problems when I visited her a few weeks ago for Halloween. The doctors think that may have been an early sign of the heart attack. She’ll be fine but will need to make some serious changes to her health going forward.

We are in the process of making some upgrades to our house. I have reached my tipping point. I am out of space to put stuff (too few closets, cabinets & shelves), the walls are bland, furniture left over from our post-college days, there’s carpet in the guest bathroom that will surely get gross once Josh starts potty training... the list goes on. I’ve made pans to have the guest bathroom tiled next week. Then, I’m painting stripes on our bedroom wall to give it some life. Then we’ll have the living room walls painted ‘mélange’ green from Sherwin William’s swatch book, shelves in our closet, new wall paper in the kitchen, tile in the kitchen, shelves in the front room, and slowly replace some of the outdated things like our blanket of 9 years and TV console from Wal-Mart circa 1998. My goal is to have the majority of this done by summer next year. No particular reason for the timing, it’s just a goal to keep us focused on finishing.

On the topic of house upgrades, I’m finding myself becoming very comfortable with Josh’s age these days. I enjoy the moments when he plays by himself for a few minutes. I love that he can feed himself and communicate what he needs (usually). I really love that he sleeps long naps in the day and about 10 hours at night waking only once or twice on average. The thought of starting over with a newborn is suddenly less appealing. I’m even contemplating returning to work after the new year. I want to contribute to the finances of the house and be productive outside of domestic life and child rearing. Don’t get me wrong- I LOVE staying home with Josh, spending time to make sure he’s well fed and cared for, socializing him and myself. And if we got pregnant again I would embrace the new family member and adjust to that coming. But until then, I think it’s time to back to “normal”. Whatever that is!



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