Today was the funeral mass for Helen Macedon, Rusty's grandmother. She died at Anne & Russ's home on Tuesday morning with family surrounding her in prayer and comfort. It was a lovely Catholic mass followed by a reception. Elliot was quiet and in good spirits. Joshua did not attend though; he was in day school.

I did get sad during the mass but admittedly not for Helen. The funeral mass brought back my feelings of loss for my own father. I'm at peace with Helen's passing having a chance to see her before her last day, knowing she had lived a full life and was ready to end her suffering with cancer and old age. It's in strong contrast to my father's death. He was not done with life and I had not yet made peace with him in our relationship. I'm talking now to a counselor to help me sort things out in my head and find some peace. I think it's going to be a journey though, not a quick fix. Periodically Rusty will tell me he thinks I seem down or distant or unhappy.

On the bright side, we got the left over reception food including lots of cookies. Maybe I'll go have one now. :-)

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