Bollocks to my mom!

I'm so frustrated with my family right now. My dad is MIA somewhere in Texas and hasn't contacted me once since a day after Josh was born. My mom was supposed to be here for the baptism on a date she committed to then backed out of yesterday after I called her. My aunt already came for a visit so she's done for a while.

Rusty's family, by contrast, is much more participative. Both his parents and one set of grandparents are coming for the baptism. I have ONE family member coming. My grandmother from South Texas who is the mother of my biological mother- the one I want nothing to do with. So seeing her (my grandmother) always stresses me out.

I don't think my family values "family". It became important to me a couple years ago when I realized how little family contact I had. I was hopeful that Joshua's addition to the fam would encourage everyone to get involved. But that hasn't happened. I hate to say this because I would never, never, never, NEVER wish this, but what if something tragic happened to Joshua? Car accident, SIDS, debilitating disease or sever mental disorder. My dad has never met Joshua.

Why should I carry the burden of bringing relatives together? I feel like I'm always the one calling on them. I initiate calls to my dad (100% of the time), my mother (80% of the time), my cousin, my uncles, my aunts (not Laura), and my grandparents. What would happen if I stopped caring and stopped calling? How long would it take for each person to eventually call me?

My mom gave me three reasons why she couldn't attend the baptism that was scheduled around her busy schedule. That's what set me off. One reason would have been an excuse but three reasons feels like a validation. I feel let down and disappointed. Even with everyone else being busy and not involved, it meant more to me that at least she'd be there. And now even she can't. Or won't. She might as well have never committed to visit at all and just saved me the bitterness. I realize she may have had three perfectly good valid reasons to prevent her from coming, but that doesn't change my feelings.