I don't think I mesh with other moms in the Plano area. I and eleven other moms from the group were invited to a mom's home to chat, play with our babies and basically connect. It was refreshing to talk to other moms about their trials and to see their babies play. One mom asked the group, "Who had a natural birth?" I raised my hand with one other lady. I mentioned I had given birth with a midwife at her birth center, while the other lady named her hospital. There were surprised looks saying 'Wow'. Then the questions, moms wanted to know what it was like going without the epidural.

Interestingly, most of the questions and attention was focused at the other mom instead of me. I wanted to share my story with the group because I felt it was fairly unique compared to what 90-some-odd percent in the Dallas area experience. I even felt a little outcasted in being passed over on this topic. It kinda bothered me all day. Not like depressed or angered, but more like a perplexed feeling.

I relayed this to Rusty last night. Then he said something gave me an ah-ha moment. "Maybe they see you and think, 'Of course she had a natural birth. She's one of those types of people.'" As if to say I have a label on my forehead that explains it all.

He's probably right. They probably do see me as "one of those" people- whatever that is. It doesn't bother me if that's the case, but it certainly makes me feel less connected with the suburban moms around me. I do feel younger in age and spirit than the group at large. So do I try to fit in or just go about my own way?

I think the answer is plain enough: I gotta be me because no one else will! I don't care enough about the demographics of Far North Dallas to conform entirely. My mode belongs someplace else, where ever that is. Maybe a more liberal location with women who don't feel the need to drive tanks and live in small mansions. A city that isn't overly planned and uniform.

Rusty & I have a plan to move in five years to a new city. I'm holding him to it this time.